Here are some things you should know about me.

-As a child, of the very small sort, I once watched a group of chickens peck another chicken to death. I have been exceptionally wary of chickens ever since.

-I am impressively skilled at pretending to know way more than I really do about most things.

-I begin fantasizing about what I will have for dinner tomorrow as soon I sit down to eat whatever is for dinner tonight.

-My life is pretty much a river of lazy, unmotivated, not giving a shit, interspersed with some huge waterfalls of life changing impulsiveness.

-That last one is probably not entirely true. I’m a big time exaggerator, like probably the biggest exaggerator you’ve ever met.